Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need moral support for this bender
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize