I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
