Whod you bang
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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