singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
