therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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