I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
