You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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