I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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