oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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