We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
