I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
