At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
