What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
