Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
