Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just want to make out with him forever
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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