writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
