Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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