SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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