I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
