# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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