How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
