No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
