At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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