I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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