Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
