"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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