My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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