I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
