i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
