Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize