Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
