Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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