A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my mouth tastes like poor choices
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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