The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
