i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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