also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize