I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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