I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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