Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
