Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
