I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
