My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
