i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize