you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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