We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize