Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i need some magic done to my vagina
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