Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
