i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
my poor anus
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
