At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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