im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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