Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
