some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
