He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
