I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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