it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize