He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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