I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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