She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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