of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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