So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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