I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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