if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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