just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
