Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
