Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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