I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you didnt know i had herpes?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
