Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
