he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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