return my video game
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
