And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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