I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
