he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
