I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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