TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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