i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
